Second post of the year #2

Second post of the year.. Let see what happened since the last blog post..

Went to Amoeba Leadership Camp. Basically is to train up ourselves to be a leader in our field. I learnt alot on that day, especially during one particular session. I don't think I will ever forget that moment. From there, I also get to know that alot of people actually care about me very much, just that they did not show it out.

Not only, I also felt that I've completely let go of my past. I had choose to let my past fade away instead of keeping myself into it. The feeling was awesome and I am much relaxed compared to last time.

After that, went for shopping with my friends and family. Managed to buy a shoe, belt, wallet! Finally new stuff to celebrate Chinese New Year! I thought I won't be buying anything for this Chinese New Year cause tight budget and such. I am happy now! (x

I want to change myself. I know it is not easy for a person to change especially after so long but I will try my best to change. I want to be a better person. I want to be stronger. I want to be someone my family and friends can look up to.

This year marks my existence for a quarter century. I am glad that previous events had not brought me down and since they did not bring me down, they will only make me stronger!

This year's Chinese New Year is completely different. Both my sister are married and I'm all alone with my mother. Whole house became really silent without me realizing it. Life really catching up now. I will to move along with time or else I'll left behind!

First day of CNY, and IMY. Hope to see you as soon a possible. <3

Mixed feelings

From the day I told you I have feelings for you, till today. There are too many things I wanted to tell you. Of course, I doubt you'll want to listen because you don't really bother. Why in the world you would want to listen to me in the first place?

I can't really find a proper way to tell you how i feel now. Im in need of someone to talk to and it is not easy for me to held it within myself for this long because I don't usually do this.

Sometimes I thought I had a chance, but sometimes I feel that I'm just another guy in your life. I really want to be there with you when you are upset about the things you encounter, go mad with you when you having stress that you can hardly handle, go happy with you when you have happy things to share. I really want to be the person who you will first to find when you have something to share, but clearly I am not the person.

Probably it is too short for us to be together since we only knew each other less than 100 days. I am willing to wait. I am willing to be there for you when you need someone be there for you. I want to be there for you to go through the things with you, held you up when you are down, cheer you up when you are upset, lift you up when you fall down. I really do.

Probably I'm too annoying for asking so many questions. That's because you are in my heart. I can't stand not knowing where are you because I worry about your safety. I'm not checking on you but I just want to know if you're safe and sound. I know it is too much to ask for. So now, I stop. I don't message you randomly so that you don't feel that I'm annoying.

Sometimes, I really hope that you know how I actually feel. But i know, it is impossible. ):

Two months without a post

Wow, didn't realized I did not post anything since October, this place must be dusty by now. Let see what I have been doing for the past two months.

I had joined a non governmental organization named Amoeba. They cater themselves to help out the society by visiting the unfortunates kids who got issues from their family or gotten dumped since they were a little kid. I am glad that I get to know them cause this had became my new aim in my life. I never had a aim since I was 19 and I needed one now to change my direction in my life. Previous post I mentioned about volunteer. Yes I am still volunteering myself to help out whoever is in need and I cannot stress how happy I am currently. In the space of two months, I had visited three orphanage home, and joined CATA camp for the second time

Honestly I cannot stress how good is CATA camp because there are no words to describe the experience I had been through in CATA camp. What I can say is, give it a try and you definitely will not regret of paying MYR190. Besides, MYR40 from MYR190 will be sponsoring an orphan to participate as well. So while you sponsor a kid to join CATA camp to learn new things, you learn new things too! Isn't that one stone two bird?

Coming soon there will be big projects coming along where I will be super busy because I am part of the committee. I just hope I can cope it because those task will not be easy. It is not things that I had done before and I certainly do not want to fail anyone simply because I do not want to disappoint them for putting so much trust in me.

Upcoming events:

1) Christmas Party

2) Home Visit by me

3) Amoeba Leadership Camp

4) Amoeba Launching

5) 30 hour famine leadership camp

6) Actual 30 hour famine

6 task to complete next year. I hope I can complete these task with flying colors. Of course I do not want to fail any of my subjects because it will be wasting time for me to retake and not to mention the amount of money I have to pay to retake. Ish!

My new girlfriends.

P.S: ILY. <3

义工

不知为什么，自己会那么喜欢义工。以前还没有做的时候，就觉得好像很麻烦。有很多东西要做，有很多人要依赖你。有很多东西要准备。

可是，现在的我好像真的是180度转变。既然爱上了义工。而且还试着带我的朋友一同参与。开始怀疑我到底是不是有问题。可是我真的深深爱上了做义工。昨天刚刚参加了一个义工的年庆。看到那么多的新朋友，真的很感触。因为真的有很多人想为这个社会做出贡献。所以我也不可以输。

这次的义工，必须去outstation. 所以我现在是在前往着滨城，做30 hours famine, 饥饿30的摄影师。跟上回一样，也适当摄影师。可是上回没有饿到，这次会是饥饿着拍照。

我希望我的人生可以那么充实，不要在懒懒散散了。滨城，我来了！出发！

我爱你，有错吗？

你知不知道；到你说你感觉到很怕我的时候，我真的痛了。