Second post of the year #2

Second post of the year.. Let see what happened since the last blog post..

Went to Amoeba Leadership Camp. Basically is to train up ourselves to be a leader in our field. I learnt alot on that day, especially during one particular session. I don't think I will ever forget that moment. From there, I also get to know that alot of people actually care about me very much, just that they did not show it out.

Not only, I also felt that I've completely let go of my past. I had choose to let my past fade away instead of keeping myself into it. The feeling was awesome and I am much relaxed compared to last time.

After that, went for shopping with my friends and family. Managed to buy a shoe, belt, wallet! Finally new stuff to celebrate Chinese New Year! I thought I won't be buying anything for this Chinese New Year cause tight budget and such. I am happy now! (x

I want to change myself. I know it is not easy for a person to change especially after so long but I will try my best to change. I want to be a better person. I want to be stronger. I want to be someone my family and friends can look up to.

This year marks my existence for a quarter century. I am glad that previous events had not brought me down and since they did not bring me down, they will only make me stronger!

This year's Chinese New Year is completely different. Both my sister are married and I'm all alone with my mother. Whole house became really silent without me realizing it. Life really catching up now. I will to move along with time or else I'll left behind!

First day of CNY, and IMY. Hope to see you as soon a possible. <3

Mixed feelings

From the day I told you I have feelings for you, till today. There are too many things I wanted to tell you. Of course, I doubt you'll want to listen because you don't really bother. Why in the world you would want to listen to me in the first place?

I can't really find a proper way to tell you how i feel now. Im in need of someone to talk to and it is not easy for me to held it within myself for this long because I don't usually do this.

Sometimes I thought I had a chance, but sometimes I feel that I'm just another guy in your life. I really want to be there with you when you are upset about the things you encounter, go mad with you when you having stress that you can hardly handle, go happy with you when you have happy things to share. I really want to be the person who you will first to find when you have something to share, but clearly I am not the person.

Probably it is too short for us to be together since we only knew each other less than 100 days. I am willing to wait. I am willing to be there for you when you need someone be there for you. I want to be there for you to go through the things with you, held you up when you are down, cheer you up when you are upset, lift you up when you fall down. I really do.

Probably I'm too annoying for asking so many questions. That's because you are in my heart. I can't stand not knowing where are you because I worry about your safety. I'm not checking on you but I just want to know if you're safe and sound. I know it is too much to ask for. So now, I stop. I don't message you randomly so that you don't feel that I'm annoying.

Sometimes, I really hope that you know how I actually feel. But i know, it is impossible. ):