I'm so..

I'm so stupid. After all the things I've done.
- I thought all I did for you is for the sake of both of us but apparently you sees it in a different way.

I'm so childish. Thought what I did was right.
- I thought all I did was to save both of us from our parents to separate both of us. That's why I choose to leave you instead of making one of us transferring to another school.

I'm so innocent. Thinking that you might appreciate what I did.
- After all these while, I realized what I did wasn't good enough. You did not like it. I thought what I did was right, but you don't seem to believe me anymore.

I'm so brainless. Thinking that you want to be with me again.
- I'm so stupid to that think you actually wanting to be with me again. I'm such a jerk for making you lost trust in me.

I'm so worthless. You never trust me anymore.
- You never trust me anymore. You never going to know what's going to happen now. I have prepared and now everything is rubbish to me now.

I'm so wanting to be with you, but you didn't want to.
- Maybe I hurt you too deep. I don't know. Like I said, I have never ever thought of hurting you, interrupting you and him, nor even trying to make your relationship broke apart.

Now I know. Memories are meant to be memories. You cannot bring it back, you cannot get it back, you cannot ask for it. You just can remember it and that will be remain in your mind for the rest of your life. You said I'm the one who understands you inside out. But do you even understand what I'm trying to say, or trying to do, or what is my intention? Frankly, do you even understand me? Isn't that a lil unfair for me? After all these while what I'm trying to do is to save both of us and you making it sound like I'm making excuses so that I can hurt you more. Isn't that unfair? But since you put it this way, I cannot do nor say anything more. Like I said, memories are meant to be memories. You cannot provoke it back so that it will become reality. I tried. I done. I failed. I'll leave.