Second post of the year #2

Second post of the year.. Let see what happened since the last blog post..

Went to Amoeba Leadership Camp. Basically is to train up ourselves to be a leader in our field. I learnt alot on that day, especially during one particular session. I don't think I will ever forget that moment. From there, I also get to know that alot of people actually care about me very much, just that they did not show it out.

Not only, I also felt that I've completely let go of my past. I had choose to let my past fade away instead of keeping myself into it. The feeling was awesome and I am much relaxed compared to last time.

After that, went for shopping with my friends and family. Managed to buy a shoe, belt, wallet! Finally new stuff to celebrate Chinese New Year! I thought I won't be buying anything for this Chinese New Year cause tight budget and such. I am happy now! (x

I want to change myself. I know it is not easy for a person to change especially after so long but I will try my best to change. I want to be a better person. I want to be stronger. I want to be someone my family and friends can look up to.

This year marks my existence for a quarter century. I am glad that previous events had not brought me down and since they did not bring me down, they will only make me stronger!

This year's Chinese New Year is completely different. Both my sister are married and I'm all alone with my mother. Whole house became really silent without me realizing it. Life really catching up now. I will to move along with time or else I'll left behind!

First day of CNY, and IMY. Hope to see you as soon a possible. <3

Mixed feelings

From the day I told you I have feelings for you, till today. There are too many things I wanted to tell you. Of course, I doubt you'll want to listen because you don't really bother. Why in the world you would want to listen to me in the first place?

I can't really find a proper way to tell you how i feel now. Im in need of someone to talk to and it is not easy for me to held it within myself for this long because I don't usually do this.

Sometimes I thought I had a chance, but sometimes I feel that I'm just another guy in your life. I really want to be there with you when you are upset about the things you encounter, go mad with you when you having stress that you can hardly handle, go happy with you when you have happy things to share. I really want to be the person who you will first to find when you have something to share, but clearly I am not the person.

Probably it is too short for us to be together since we only knew each other less than 100 days. I am willing to wait. I am willing to be there for you when you need someone be there for you. I want to be there for you to go through the things with you, held you up when you are down, cheer you up when you are upset, lift you up when you fall down. I really do.

Probably I'm too annoying for asking so many questions. That's because you are in my heart. I can't stand not knowing where are you because I worry about your safety. I'm not checking on you but I just want to know if you're safe and sound. I know it is too much to ask for. So now, I stop. I don't message you randomly so that you don't feel that I'm annoying.

Sometimes, I really hope that you know how I actually feel. But i know, it is impossible. ):

Two months without a post

Wow, didn't realized I did not post anything since October, this place must be dusty by now. Let see what I have been doing for the past two months.

I had joined a non governmental organization named Amoeba. They cater themselves to help out the society by visiting the unfortunates kids who got issues from their family or gotten dumped since they were a little kid. I am glad that I get to know them cause this had became my new aim in my life. I never had a aim since I was 19 and I needed one now to change my direction in my life. Previous post I mentioned about volunteer. Yes I am still volunteering myself to help out whoever is in need and I cannot stress how happy I am currently. In the space of two months, I had visited three orphanage home, and joined CATA camp for the second time

Honestly I cannot stress how good is CATA camp because there are no words to describe the experience I had been through in CATA camp. What I can say is, give it a try and you definitely will not regret of paying MYR190. Besides, MYR40 from MYR190 will be sponsoring an orphan to participate as well. So while you sponsor a kid to join CATA camp to learn new things, you learn new things too! Isn't that one stone two bird?

Coming soon there will be big projects coming along where I will be super busy because I am part of the committee. I just hope I can cope it because those task will not be easy. It is not things that I had done before and I certainly do not want to fail anyone simply because I do not want to disappoint them for putting so much trust in me.

Upcoming events:

1) Christmas Party

2) Home Visit by me

3) Amoeba Leadership Camp

4) Amoeba Launching

5) 30 hour famine leadership camp

6) Actual 30 hour famine

6 task to complete next year. I hope I can complete these task with flying colors. Of course I do not want to fail any of my subjects because it will be wasting time for me to retake and not to mention the amount of money I have to pay to retake. Ish!

My new girlfriends.

P.S: ILY. <3

wha'ever

This blog is practically collecting dust since I am so busy with my life. Been throwing myself into all kinds of jobs and I am happy to say that I actually love it.

I did not blog for my entire short semester due to the workload I have to bare, in studies and work.
I am going to have my holiday for 2 weeks from now, ends at 15th of August. Move to Ara Damansara since July 10th. Close to 3 weeks and I missed my old house actually.
Past two days I volunteer to help out in a 30 hours famine event by helping them to take pictures. Yes so I am the photographer for the event. Get to know alot of friends there.


You can go to my facebook profile page to see a bigger picture of this. I am just too lazy to upload a bigger size cause it's going to take alot of time for me to do so.

Anyways, life have been good to me and I truly appreciate it. Last semester I have 1 B, 2 C and 1 D. Luckily that D is UIU subject so is considered as pass. But I am still thinking of retaking it cause I do not want to look bad in my CGPA.
I like this song. <3

Bad week does not seem so bad afterall

Luckily my lecturer has the heart and let us loose. So now the coming week I'm having 1 assignment to due on Monday, 1 presentation on Tuesday and Friday, 1 booth on Saturday. But Saturday booth event I'm having alot of work to do since I was elected as the designer of the stage. :S

So now, I need to paste my event poster around the college this coming Monday. If you happen to be free on Saturday, please do dropby to SEGi Subang as there's a big event going on! We're celebrating 1Malaysia with 12 different cultures. (:

I'm still struggling to come out with an idea to design the stage since I don't even know what powers do I have. Not to mention I'm not even done with my booth design yet. Good thing is that I know what I'm going to use for the floor. Still not that bad after all. So now at least I'm relax a little bit.

My PC is back and some random stuff.

Finally! After so long of waiting and waiting AND waiting, my motherboard of my i5 finally back from RMA. It took me from 28th of Feb until 30th of April. That's more than a month without a proper PC to do my assignment and shit. Oh god you can't imagine that life with a crappy PC. >_> Of course, I need to thank Navine a.k.a SupahSub to installing back my PC together as one piece. :D

SO! Finally! I'm with my i5 now and I need to start do my projects as well. If not when next semester comes I have no time to do it at all.

Speaking of college, I'm going to have my speech test coming Tuesday. Oh my god I don't know if I can pass MUET or not. Although people been saying "It's not hard! Oh come on, don't worry about it! I'm sure you'll do just fine!" But I sense that I might have a great chance of retaking it again cause I have no confident at all during the test and I am worried like shit now. :/ Hopefully I can get at least Band 4 so that I can start taking my UIU subjects.

Tomorrow, the day I don't wish to come. We'll be talking to him again about this house and my education. I think he'll be happy to hear that we've decided to sell the house cause he have no more burden over here. What a jerk. Only know how to avoid the problem and push it away to my sister. I've promised my sister I'll keep cool tomorrow and I'll just keep quiet tomorrow just to listen what he have to say. If he say something stupid or insult my mother, he's gonna get it.

Anyways, I'm looking for a part time job during the whole May. Anyone want to hire me? I can do all sort of jobs! Prostitution not included of course! :P

In holiday but not in holiday mood. :/


Planning to go outstation, just to get away from here and relax a lil. Possible? :/

Exams! and some other things.

Exams are around the corner. The corner happens to be tomorrow! Tomorrow will be my MUET test. A test that determines if I can take UIU subjects for all the coming semesters. BAH! I never study or anything cause my friends kept on telling me it's easy and stuff. Well, hopefully like what they say. If I really fail MUET, I need to rush it by taking IELTS or TOEFL which cost at least MYR500.

So expensive! Go rompak bank laaaa! :(

I might be rude. I might be cruel. But you'll thank me in the future. No point dragging this relationship. It's already at the edge and I have no intention to push you off the cliff, but you left me no choice. I really hope you can live your own life. Good luck in the future.

Recently I've been spending alot of time at home, doing nothing. @@ I need to find a job since I gonna have my 3 week holiday right after my Monday exam! I don't want to slack around. I need money to sustain my life without depending on my mother. I don't want to add anymore burden to her, my sisters. I am a boy and I should be taking care of the family, not vice versa.

People who know me well enough knows that I am not the pray until something happen kind of person. If I want something, I don't pray. I will do whatever it takes to reach the target, of course in a correct way. I don't understand why people like to say "hopefully this can work out, that can become true." Instead of hoping for it, why not try to make it happen by your own hand? What's the point of you waiting there and pray for miracle to happen? Miracle doesn't happen without any hard work! Seriously, stop praying and start act on it.



" Life is going to knock you down, from time to time, just like a good boxer. The difference in success and failure in life is whether or not you get up or stay down and it's a choice. I choose to get up and fight on."
Written in 2008 by W.P. Garrett

First time

For the first time, I actually struggle to do it. Everytime when I wanted to do it, I'll just say it to them and hoping they would say nice things and ask me not to. But this time, I'm kind of struggle to tell them about it. But I know it's the right choice for me to do, also right choice for me to step down. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing but I just feel like it's time. After so many times I've tried to do it, this is the first time I actually felt that there's need for me to do so.

Reason for me to step down? I'm just not good enough to be part of em. I can't be the best, so I decide to die like the rest. It's as simply as that. But I would prefer to do something from the back. Something that I was hoping to be but due to some restriction that I had, I can't. Hopefully after I tell them my decision I could do something different. I'm just too tired to even try to save it when people taking me as a pinch of salt.

There's only one thing left in my mind. Would they ever speak to me again after I tell them my decision?

Just realized

I just realize, and found out that..

I'm not young anymore.

During the conversation my friends had, I found out that I'm no longer at my puberty stage. I'm no longer a kid. I cannot be so irresponsible.

I'm an adult. I'm a grown up. I'm twenty two this year, twenty three is coming to me.

My life in Internet

Life without good spec PC nor internet access is so friggin boring!! I have a limited internet connection due to some problem with my house phone and I still haven't give a call to telekom so that they need to get their ass to my place and check it out. But my mom suggested we just change another line instead of getting the fella to fix for us.

ARGHHH!!

I'm so bored. Everyday just stay at home, do the same thing again and again. =/ I'm hereby to clarify one thing.

LIFE WITHOUT INTERNET IS BORING!!

Last few weeks was one of the most busiest week for me. I organized an Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare event. 32 teams reserved the slot, but only 22 made it. Thanks alot for coming the tournament, though is not the best, but I'll try my best to make it THE best whenever I have a chance. :) I'd like to thanks Bambino, Ho|yboy, Pikachu, Quack, Pixy, Tequila, D'Hell for helping in my tournament. Million thanks for helping out.

Anyway, the final result for FFA is..

1st - Pink Bunnies
2nd - Souley
3rd - RoJaK
4th - Zohan

And the result for the tournament was..

1st - SRC|XEF.NaaBs!
2nd - Tbun|FFF.Cr33ps
3rd - -[MythS]
4th - [eG]21

Congratz to all the winners. :D

You guys syok lar. I need to work all my ass out to get all the stuff work. =/ You guys want the pictures? Here comes the picture!! :D

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Joking lar. Next entry I'll post ALL the pictures. Make sure you're not using 56k modem or you'll be dying for loading the images. =x

Life

Life is not as easy as what you think. Sometimes you need to "step" on someone else to improve your life, sometimes you need to bend the rules to have a more better future. But most of the time people wearing two masks, smiling at you in front of you; holding the knife, wanting to stab you at your back. Why is life being so hard for some people, while some of em doesn't even bother to appreciate life? Life is a never ending process. Everyday there's new lives coming. But people doesn't seem to appreciate that. Why so? I often hearing people saying these to me. What I can do is to tell them..

"That's life."

My Life - Chapter One

Some of you may know, I'm taking a semester break. Which mean I'm having holiday now. I don’t know what I actually want. I was hoping for a long vacation, going somewhere where no one knows me. But I guess that wasn't easy as there's a lot of things that I could never expect can be happen.

My life is rather simple and direct. I don’t hide much stuff from anyone else. If I don’t like someone, I'll show it on my face. But instead if I like you, I'll be very friendly and easy-going. Sometimes I even have a feeling of being someone's friend with just a single stare. I've met some people who I knew through internet, or college, where I have the eager to make friends with them without knowing what they did, what they do. Sometime we have this kind of feelings, aren't we?

Is been 3 months after I stop studying. I rather felt empty in my life currently. I guess this is because I didn't use my holiday properly. I didn't plan well for my holiday, that's why I don’t feel that I'm in holiday. Heck, I don’t even have a holiday mood. It sad when you are having something, but at the same time you felt that as if you don’t have it.

I wanted to be someone useful. I doesn't want to be some slacker who always hangout at some weird places where people having bad comments about you. But being someone useful isn't easy. You require some hard work, and determination to be someone useful. I really hope I can because I don’t want to let those who put hope on me feel down. I don't want to let them down because of my laziness.

Football is my life, there's no single doubt about it. I guess everyone has their own favourite sports, activities. Those who doesn't have any, I guess you should look for one because your life would be empty without anything you interested. Plus, sports can make you exercise. At least you don't have to waste hundred bucks to go some gym and buck up your tone. You can rely on sports, where you can get the same result where you get it from gym.

I've realized that I spend more than three thousand on my Chinese New Year stuff. half of it is for my current cell phone, which is w910i. I love it to bits! But at the same time, I felt that I'm really spoiling myself for buying such expensive phone. I've once had 8910, couple weeks after it's launch date. And within half a year, I dropped it in some cyber cafe. I cried my lungs out when I knew my cell phone was lost.

I guess not much of people actually know who I really am. Although we're talking the same thing, doing the same stuff. But sometimes what people think, we don't really know. And frankly who know it might be something bad or nasty. No one knows. I wish to find someone who can understands me well, at least know what's in my mind, when I'm not feeling happy or sad.

The world is going too fast, everything is moving too fast. No one actually move slower than usual, and look around them. Move slowly and observe your surroundings, isn't so hard, rite? But I don't understand why everyone moving in this pace where you got no enough time to check what is your surroundings.