I miss you

Do you miss me? I do. Our last conversation ended at 2018, February 13th 2009. I just realized that it was a Friday. Friday the 13th. Black Friday.

I didn't know about it until now. I really don't want this to end, but to continue.

I think about you all day long
When I am not near you, all i think about is being with you
When you are near me, I feel like I have the peace of the whole world
I am not asking god for anything because i have you in my life, and you are everything i wanted
The thing I really want to do is to spend the rest of my life to make you happy as how you made me

Sarang hae

I jizzed my pants because of..

The launch date of Modern Warfare 2 is 11/10/09.



Now tell me. Who doesn't jizz their pants during/after they watch this teaser? I definitely gonna jizz everytime I watch it. :P

Hopefully there's not silly, or should I call it as dumb perks being transferred from CoD4:MW.

I deepest voice

I feel damn pathetic now. Am I even moving forward? Am I better? I don't know anymore.

I, today, not match at all. Do I emo alot? Do I get pissed alot? Am I so easy to get pissed off? I suck? I useless? I don't know.

I rely too much? I ask for too much? Is that too much to ask for? I don't know.

I just feel that I'm such a loser right now.

I feel distance. I feel separation. I feel ignorance. I feel.. pathetic.

My dream

Today was another step forward to my dream.

Dream that I was daydreaming about.

A dream that many people want it, but not all of them getting it.

A dream that is not easily achievable, but I'm moving forward to it.

A dream that I would never thought I can achieve, but it's happening in front of my eyes.

A dream that I've wished since young, but I don't need to dream it anymore.

I will move forward, I will stay focus, I will work hard.

I believe I can. I believe I can do it. I believe with the helps I had, I can be the best.

No one is gonna stop me from it. No one can stop me. No one could stop me.

There's no way for them to stop me from it. I will go for it, step by step.

I know I can.

Fucked

That's the only word I can describe my current situation. No more options. What's left just an option that I have to force myself to take. No more decision making, no more options to choose from. Like I said, fucked.

Isn't a little young for a person like me to face these situation? Is a big amount where I don't even know how am I suppose to find it from. Even work as full time I doubt I can do so. Part time is even worse.

Where should I find a big amount of sum to cover up? Where do I find a job that gives me the pay of what I need to cover? Where can I go? Who can I go? What should I do? Why now? Why not few years later? Why so soon?

Why do I need to face these problem in such a young age? People like my age still enjoying their moments or even their life in college. A big amount. A couple of stuff for me to worry. Family, Financial, Future.

Like I say, fucked.

I'm officially hate the f alphabet.

I wonder when can this problem solve. Probably take years, or worse, few decades. I'm just a fucking twenty two year old brat and I need to take care of stuffs that I should be taking care of at least 2 years later.